This thing is gonna have a lot of grammatical errors, well f
that. Because I ain’t perfect and you do.
I wanna tell you a story about a very much good friend of
mine. Not that I want to specialize my best friend, but this one I want to tell
you about is the most up and down friendship I’ve ever had. I almost lost her
as my friend, but we managed to put the past in the past, and got back
together.
We met five years ago. She’s my classmate at college, and
after that we became a housemate for almost 3 years. The eight of us (including
me and her) are in the same circle from the beginning of our college. Four
girls and four boys. I have to admit that
the friendship we had is the most real relationship I’ve ever had. We judge, mock,
laugh with each other. Although, there’s no such thing as perfection, we manage
to tolerate each other and I thank God for our ability to do that, especially
me.
She is my friend. My dear best friend. We fought and we made
up and fought again. I really, really grew up because of her. When I looked
back right now, there are so many memories I want to write here so that I won’t
forget everything we had. I will always remember the fact that she is always
there when I’m sick because I’m such a fussy when I get sick and I know that
really well. Or, when we were fed up with our organization, and decided to ride
at night didn’t know where to go. Or, when we watched movie together and talk
about the plot, cinematography, acting, etc. Or, when we just talk about a
bitch messing with our life. I will never ever forget that.
I don’t know that these five years I’ve been blessed so
much. To meet her and my circle, to be able to learn from them. To get the place
I would run to when I can’t deal with home. Really, God, thank you for letting
me having the friends that will always so very kind to me.
I’m very aware that I’m not the perfect friend. I do make mistakes.
We fought for so long till I wished to go away from her, but I couldn’t because
I couldn’t bear to lose another friend. I won’t let that.
Until one day, I graduated, and most of us graduated and
have to face reality that we can’t always be together talking bullshit about
politics, philosophy, and movies anymore. We have to face reality which is a
very sad thing because I have to face that feeling again. The feeling when
people left you.
You know how much I really want to go back there? The eight
of us sitting at Tedjo editing movies or playing UNO. Or the two of us in that
house just talk, talk, until we get tired.
Maybe you guys still wondering why I write this. This is
because, she is gonna leave Jogja tomorrow doesn’t know whether will come back
or not. Which means that I would be alone because Naras has left Jogja too..
and.. I’m afraid.
I’m not being over dramatic. Aku pernah ditinggal sahabat
baikku dengan cara baik-baik emang, tapi yang jelas ketika kita ketemu, rasanya
udah beda, dan aku enggak mau kaya gitu keulang lagi.
Mungkin aku lebay cuma
ditinggal temen aja sampe kaya gini. Tapi bagiku kalian bukan cuma temen. Yang
ada waktu aku lagi ada masalah ya kalian. Yang ngurusin aku waktu sakit dan
kecelakaan ya kalian. Yang nasihatin aku soal family ya kalian. Terutama kamu.
Terus besok aku kalo mau makan ngajak siapa lagi? Tahu
sendiri kan aku kalo makan ya sama kalian. Coba inget-inget, mana pernah aku
makan bareng sama yang lain kalo ngga sama kalian?
Yang tahu aku kayak gimana, yang bisa mentoleransi aku
seperti apapun itu, ya kalian. Ya kamu.
Aku nggak pernah di posisi yang ninggalin. Aku selalu di
posisi yang ditinggalin. Kayanya dosa aku banyak deh makanya I always end up
like this. Apa aku pernah jahat ya sama seseorang? Aku pingin jadi baik. Aku
lagi belajar.
Aku sedih –sesedihnya waktu temenku ini tiba-tiba bilang
ngga mau di Jogja lagi. Aku pikir aku bakal masih punya temen at least the one
I could talk to who really knows who I am, what kind of situation I have, what
kind of family I have, tapi ternyata… manusia punya masalahnya masing-masing.
Aku sedih sih karena aku yang selalu hold on sama mereka
sehingga ketika mereka pergi satu-satu aku ngga tau mau pegangan sama apa lagi.
I’m so sad.
Sorry reader for being so lebay over this thing. Some of you
will understand, some of you won’t, and I get that. I WISH THE VERY BEST FOR
ALL OF MY FRIENDS! If someday I have a chance to write about you guys, I would.
Especially you, I learnt a lot from you. Really. Thank you for being my friend.
Just so thank you for being there when I need you the most. You are a good man.
You deserve the best. I really, really wish our relationship wouldn’t end like
this. However, I respect your choice and I get that sometimes happiness doesn’t
have to be nearby you.
