Hey it’s me again. Finally I have something to talk about. I’m so happy cuz I get to write in English. It’s been a while since I wrote about my feelings and I really want to share these thoughts so I can let it go. Before I start, I want to apologize for grammatical mistakes ahead. You’ll find so many mistakes especially if you’re a grammar nazi. So, without further ado, let’s begin!
Anyway, last month I turned 24! Not exactly last month anyway, but yeah I am almost 25 years old! Speaking about almost 25 years old, before I turned 24, I forgot when it was, my father asked me how old I am (yeah he didn’t know), and I told him that I’m almost 24 years old. You know what he said after that? He said, “You need to get married at 25 years old.” I went speechless.
That time, I really wanted to debate him, but I couldn’t cuz we have different values, and talking about it would be pointless. He asked me to pray to Allah, so a very good man would come into my life and marry me. What a life!
Almost everybody in my family asks me to be married to someone before I get 25.Even my sister in law once told me that getting married after 25 yo sucks. And I’m like… is it true? For me, I wanna get married not because people think I should, not because I’m old enough to, but because I’m ready. When you’re married, it’s not just about you anymore, it’s also about your partner and his/her family, and if you’re not ready, then why in the hell you want to have that commitment just because people think you should?
Furthermore, I’m not the type of someone who’s married just because of sexual needs. Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy for my friends who get to meet their love of their life before they get 25yo, but it doesn’t mean that me, or others are wrong when they don’t do the same things, right?
Honestly, I really think I’m not ready yet. People say that getting married is “enak”. However, I’m very skeptical about it. Wang sinawang gak sih? (What are you afraid of Hann?) Well, I’m afraid that I’ll choose the wrong person. Someone who’ll make my whole life miserable. Truthfully, I’m very happy with my life right now, and I don’t want to ruin it with another complicated problem. Yeah, you can say something like “ya itu karena lo belom nikah aja jadi lo belom ngerasain enaknya” it’s a fair thing to say. It’s alright you can say that, I won’t judge it anyway. I’m just preparing for the worst case scenario. What would I do if life does not always give me beautiful things everyday when I’m married? I wanna be ready.
I found something on twitter about marriage life. I will try to give you the summary. According to Maya Septha (a celebrity in Indonesia), when you are married, it’s kinda like having long life problems. So when you’re married, please make sure you know what kind of man you choose, and please make sure you can bear with his character your whole life. If he has a bad character, please be aware that it won't get better just because the two of you married. Remember, you’re choosing your future problems, so be wise about it. BOOM!
And I’m like “She’s right man!”
Why would I want to push myself just because my parents want me to do it? I’ve been doing what they say all this time, and I need to do it one more time just because they are my parents? Well, this is my life. They do have the part of making me into this world, and I respect that, but the one who’ll live with the marriage is me, so yeah, I won’t get married just because I’m 25 years old.
If I get to be married when I’m 25 years old, I wanna be ready. Not just me, but the two of us. We need to know that life will get harder, and if it does, we will fight it together. I need to know that it’s not just about me or him, but it’s about us. Being together no matter how bad it goes.
Hope I won’t make a mistake in choosing the love of my life! And I hope you too! Thank you for reading!